My step-daughter, Veruca picked up that there was an “imbalance” in her parent’s relationship and started playing us up against each other. I was getting resentful because she was getting away with murder, and my husband (No. 2) just coddled his daughter further into becoming more and more impossible to live with! No. 2 fell for her manipulation hook, line and sinker. She’d take something I told her and twist it around to make herself look like a victim in her father’s eyes – who’d get upset with me first before finding out the truth. After this happened three times in one week, I decided to withdraw from her (emotionally), for my own sanity and in an effort to safe my failing marriage. I thought that if I distance myself from Veruca, she’d have nothing to gossip about with her dad, who in turn won’t have anything to fight with me over.
Boy was I wrong!
Veruca noticed I had distanced myself from her and wanted to know from her dad why I am upset with her.
You will not believe No. 2’s response!
“Gabi is upset with you because she doesn’t want to be with us, she wants us out of her life.”
WHAT?????
And I only found this out a week later after No. 2 had to go away on business and I had no choice but to take care of Veruca. She was insolent and disrespectful towards me which resulted in a screaming match and the truth of what her dad told her, came out.
I was furious!
No, I was beyond furious.
I was LIVID!!!
I phoned No. 2 right then and there and asked him if it was true – he immediately realised there was hell to pay at our house, and guess what he did next…..? He phoned his sister and arranged for them to pick Veruca up and let her stay there until he comes back from his trip! To keep her safe from his evil, cruel wife who must surely be in the wrong for being upset with his princess again.
Yet again, the step-mom became the villian.This even infuriated me more!!
Veruca was on cloud nine – because daddy is upset with her me again – how dare I raise my voice or get upset with at his little girl?!
I prepared for a divorce. I had it. I was done. Finished with this life of bending and crawling and questioning my own sanity and resolve. I had no life. I had a step-daughter who delighted in the breakdown of my relationship with her father.
But it didn’t end there. When No. 2 came back two days later, he had already arranged for Veruca to stay at his sister’s for the rest of the school term. He didn’t want a divorce and wanted to use this time to work on our marriage. You could have blown me over with a feather! I thought it a bad idea to remove Veruca from her home, no matter how rude she had become. No. 2 again made decisions about Veruca without talking to me, and his emotional decisions regarding her has become damaging to all of us.
Veruca is now seeing a Psychologist and we have enlisted for marriage counseling. Veruca came to visit us for the first time after the big fight (2 weeks ago) last weekend, and we were as close as ever – after we had said our “I’m sorry’s”. Children! I realised she just needs a mom, and was all over me the whole weekend. We've always been able to work our issues out without No. 2's interference.
No. 2 and I are now living quietly together without any tension or fighting since Veruca moved out. However, my stomach still turns whenever I imagine the next time Veruca is difficult, or spiteful, or manipulative. (As all children sometimes are) Don’t know how No. 2 will react. Lord knows I hope the past does not repeat itself! Even though the time apart from her is hard on us, I cling to the hope that the sessions with the Psychologist and living with No. 2’s sister will make a difference in her attitude.
Enter in our Marriage Counselling…….
Boy was I wrong!
Veruca noticed I had distanced myself from her and wanted to know from her dad why I am upset with her.
You will not believe No. 2’s response!
“Gabi is upset with you because she doesn’t want to be with us, she wants us out of her life.”
WHAT?????
And I only found this out a week later after No. 2 had to go away on business and I had no choice but to take care of Veruca. She was insolent and disrespectful towards me which resulted in a screaming match and the truth of what her dad told her, came out.
I was furious!
No, I was beyond furious.
I was LIVID!!!
I phoned No. 2 right then and there and asked him if it was true – he immediately realised there was hell to pay at our house, and guess what he did next…..? He phoned his sister and arranged for them to pick Veruca up and let her stay there until he comes back from his trip! To keep her safe from his evil, cruel wife who must surely be in the wrong for being upset with his princess again.
Yet again, the step-mom became the villian.This even infuriated me more!!
Veruca was on cloud nine – because daddy is upset with her me again – how dare I raise my voice or get upset with at his little girl?!
I prepared for a divorce. I had it. I was done. Finished with this life of bending and crawling and questioning my own sanity and resolve. I had no life. I had a step-daughter who delighted in the breakdown of my relationship with her father.
But it didn’t end there. When No. 2 came back two days later, he had already arranged for Veruca to stay at his sister’s for the rest of the school term. He didn’t want a divorce and wanted to use this time to work on our marriage. You could have blown me over with a feather! I thought it a bad idea to remove Veruca from her home, no matter how rude she had become. No. 2 again made decisions about Veruca without talking to me, and his emotional decisions regarding her has become damaging to all of us.
Veruca is now seeing a Psychologist and we have enlisted for marriage counseling. Veruca came to visit us for the first time after the big fight (2 weeks ago) last weekend, and we were as close as ever – after we had said our “I’m sorry’s”. Children! I realised she just needs a mom, and was all over me the whole weekend. We've always been able to work our issues out without No. 2's interference.
No. 2 and I are now living quietly together without any tension or fighting since Veruca moved out. However, my stomach still turns whenever I imagine the next time Veruca is difficult, or spiteful, or manipulative. (As all children sometimes are) Don’t know how No. 2 will react. Lord knows I hope the past does not repeat itself! Even though the time apart from her is hard on us, I cling to the hope that the sessions with the Psychologist and living with No. 2’s sister will make a difference in her attitude.
Enter in our Marriage Counselling…….
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